Alert: The History Channel Has Run Out of History

The History Channel has run out of history. It’s a shame because, like oil, there seemed to be so much of it last time I checked. But alas, it’s true. Napoleonic wars, done it. King Tut, done it nine times. Lindberg, Anne Frank, George Washington, you name it, done it. Which explains their new move toward old growth trees and the reality show Axe Men.

Hypothetical meeting conversation:

“Why not stop covering history and start predicting it? We all know that trees are going to be history so let’s preempt it!”

“Let’s give that man a raise! Brilliant!”

“And we can compete against Discovery and Deadliest Catch. Logging is dangerous too! And not just to the trees!”